So You’ve Experienced Ego Death. Now What? Posted on January 11th, 2011 by Gad Asas in Enlightenment with [fetching…]
We covered ego death and what it is in “To Become Everything. What Ego Death Means and Why It’s Important” but we didn’t cover the after effects of ego death. There are multiple phases post-ego death and there isn’t a lot of help for people going through those phases.
However, we’re here to draw out some guidelines that should help you if you’re in these phases. Ego death may be instant but the results are not. How you handle your initial ego death will affect your life in the long haul.
The Next Day
After your initial experience you will still feel at awe. You may be confused, in shock and probably jaded. Your brain is quite tired and will be for at least 2 days after a strong experience. Right now, ego death is on your mind but you may not know what to think of it.
You’re thrown right back from experiencing enlightenment itself to your daily routine once again. It may be difficult to do these tasks without wondering if they are worth doing. At this point, however, you should relax and let your brain regenerate its resources that have been depleted by the psychedelic.
Contemplation on life, especially personal, starts to get very strong as we move forward into the first phase. Phases last about a week or two on average; however, some people will stretch or minimize phases depending on their personality.
The First Phase
The first phase starts off with a question like, “How was that even possible? Am I going crazy?” as you will be noticing that life is no longer the same. You will see your life without an ego for the first time and you may not enjoy what you see.
This is the phase where you are trying to blend what you just experienced into your daily life and you probably can’t do it for the majority of your daily routine. You might be doubting the experience itself, you might be thinking “it was just drugs” because, now that you’re sober, you’re “back to your logical being”.
Please keep in mind, however, that the ego death was caused due to those “logical thoughts”. Without those thoughts you would not have had to experience ego death, for you would have been ego-less. Also keep in mind that psychedelics are not just drugs — which you already know, yet you may wish to think that they are. You may also question your sanity, and believe that you are now insane.
There is also another side to this phase: the obsession with the experience. You may experience one side and go onto phase 2, but it is most common to experience both sides. You are divided into two pieces here; on one end, you wish to dismiss what has happened so you can get on with your life. On the other side you are drawn into it and wish to explore more.
Which side do you choose? Which way will you go? An interesting aspect to ego death is that the interest will stick with you for eternity. You will always look back on it, years ahead and beyond. Why? It is an enchanting experience and you do not let go of those.
So what do you do here, in the first phase? We had to learn that it was best to choose both. You must remain sober in daily life but you mustn’t let doubt, and thus your ego, reclaim its place inside of you. Accept your insanity, for insanity is natural sanity. Think about that one.
You are able to feel when your ego is presently active in your body. It is the rising feeling of judgement, anger, confusion, etc. It rides your emotional waves so that it can make decisions for you. A trick that may work for you is to focus on the left side of your body, is it tense? Then the ego is active. Simply push it down with your energy and keep it in place.
You can also concentrate on that area and use key words like “down”, “stop” or “cancel”. These words have obvious definitions and the ego will oblige for you are its master.
To end the first phase you must accept the fact that you are no longer the same as everybody else. You are now different because of what you’ve experienced. This does not make you superior, this does not make you wiser. This only makes you different.
You must accept this and continue on into the second phase, which is the reconstruction of your life in an organized fashion to meet your newfound needs.
The Second Phase
Here is the integration of the experience into your daily life. Now that you’ve accepted your newfound insanity you are most likely exhausted from all of the racing thoughts you had in the first phase. Your brain is coming back down to Earth and you are ready to start your new life — nervously.
The second phase is about actually attempting to merge the experience, and maybe the lifestyle, into your current life. You may be considering burning bridges or simply starting over. Write out all of your thoughts and ideas in this phase, and look them over in a few months time. See if they still apply to you then. Rash moves right now are inadvisable.
This is a relatively calm phase, but you may slip back into phase one if you are not careful. All you have to do is move forward and try not to be drawn into questioning your own sanity, or having any self-doubt about the experience. Self-doubt is the only thing that can get in your way right now.
From here, your life is your oyster as you make your choices carefully. This is a tightrope between doubt and confidence. Stay confident, although that is easier said than done.
To stay confident you must constantly watch your actions for the remainder of this phase. You must be on top of your self at all times in order to make the choices that you want to make so that you may redefine who you are. It will get tiring, but do not lighten up until you know that it is at least relatively automatic. This process is usually 2 to 3 weeks.
When the going gets rough, as they say, look into the mirror and remind yourself of why you are doing this. It is because you saw the truth and you want to live with the truth, rather than ignoring the truth. You want something out of yourself so you must take it.
The Third Phase
The third phase is simply the end of the second phase and it becomes very easy and automatic to be what you wish to be. You are more in control of where you go from here, for you have a wider choice to either fail or succeed now.
Your curiosity will peak again and you will revisit the psychedelic realm multiple times but this time, with full confidence as you know what to expect and you now have the knowledge to not let you question yourself.
The third phase is for when you figure out a way to integrate the truth into your life, and you’re living it fully. You know that the journey will not end, for it only has a beginning. You know the truth and you will most likely teach people of what you know — although not many will understand, you still get enjoyment from repeating the truth.
You will be in this phase for the rest of your life with many different subphases of the journeys that you take within this phase. Enjoy your life, remember the truth and be conservative about your lifestyle choices. Keep yourself happy, healthy and well-put together.